Far Beyond. (Part 2)

Ali felt her breath hitch. She couldn’t speak. She was more confused than stunned and wasn’t even sure what she should ask. Was she dreaming? Had she been dreaming this entire time? None of this made sense. 

The version of her holding what she now saw was a candle, smiled. “I know, a little confusing.” 

“A little? What the hell is going on?” 

She took a breath and pulled in her bottom lip for a second before speaking. “I am… you.” 

Ali stayed silent, waiting for a deeper explanation. That made even less sense than any of the theories that ran through her mind in the last 30 seconds. 

“I am you… your spirit. But you can call me Nina.” That charming smile returned. 

Ali’s confusion grew even more. She began to laugh. First, a chuckle, then a hearty belly laugh that echoed in the darkness. She laughed to the point of tears and pain.

Now it was Nina’s turn to be confused. Neither of them said anything. Ali laughed and Nina only stared, her forehead creasing with worry. 

When Ali finally caught her breath she released a deep sigh. “It only makes sense that I’ve finally gone mad.” She chuckled again. “Okay, Nina, where are we and how did we both end up…” She waved her arms around. 

“Well technically, you’ve kind of always been…” Nina mimicked her hand gestures. “You… we technically don’t exist.” 

Ali stood for a second, feeling all hope she had of getting out of this place quickly began to drain. Not only was she going mad, but the only other person who could probably save them was also insane. 

“Uhuh, and how do you explain ‘us’?” 

Nina seemed to perk up again, “Well we exist but not in the ‘real’ world. We’re a part of the invisible realm.” Nina’s smile grew as she spoke. “We’re just here because our host is here. She exists in the visible realm.” 

The more Nina spoke, the less Ali understood. “This isn’t making any sense.” 

“I know, as I said, confusing. Basically, the only reason you’re even aware of your own existence is because our host is sort of having a meltdown. See, she has, hmm, neglected herself, her creativity, her joys, all the things that make her…her. And now she’s imploding. So her entire being has become separate in an effort to assess the damage of each part, repair it and put it back together.” 

Ali rubbed her forehead. As soon as she got out of there she was going to check herself into a mental institution. 

“Think about it,” Nina interjected Ali’s thoughts, “What was the last thing you remember before waking up here.” 

“Easy, I was,” she started to think even harder than before but realised she really couldn’t remember. It wasn’t just a blur, it was completely blank. “I can’t remember.” She whispered, her voice shaking. 

“Okay, try to remember anything before waking up here. Anything at all.” Nina pressed. 

Ali closed her eyes, squeezing them together to search for any memory. Anything that would give her some clue as to what the hell was really happening. All she could think of were colours. She heard vague sounds, voices maybe? She couldn’t be sure. But all she knew is that Nina seemed to have some answers and that scared her. 

She opened her eyes and saw Nina standing there, smiling, with the candle that never seemed to actually burn, the light dancing across her pretty face. Her smile was different now, more relaxed. 

“There,” Nina said. “Now that you’ve come to acceptance, we can get to the heart of the matter.” 

Ali said nothing, she couldn’t. So she just listened. 

“As I said before, I’m your spirit, and our host is in trouble. I’ve been going from realm to realm to try and figure out where the damage was before anything worse happens, and now that I’m here it’s pretty clear you’re the one who needs healing. You are her soul and you are extremely impaired.” 

“I feel fine, except I’m trapped in this place.” 

“Precisely. That shouldn’t be. You are a part of her centre. You are where her creativity flows from, her joy, and you’re trapped. Not only that, you’re weak, and even a little scared.” 

Nina stepped forward, serious now. “Ali, you’re starting to fade. If she loses you, if we lose you… she will fade too.”  

Ali began experiencing a new emotion for the first time since waking up there – worry. “What should we do? How do I help?” Her voice shook. 

“Breathe,” Nina responded. 

Ali looked back at her, puzzled. “What? I am.”

Nina paused for a second, giving her time to analyse herself. “I’m not talking about respiration. Exhale. Creativity, joy, love, peace, happiness. You’ve been taking in a lot of negative things and they have been slowly eating you alive. Each one stifling you and adding to that huge pile of garbage you have there behind you.” 

Nina nodded behind Ali’s shoulders and she glanced around. How had she not noticed that before? A huge junk pile of things she couldn’t even recognise was behind her. 

“You have to exhale. As you exhale, you will begin to repair yourself again. And when you inhale fresh breath, be very deliberate about what you invite – hope, purpose, possibilities.” 

Ali felt her being start to shake. Nina was right, she was terrified. None of this made sense but at the same time, it did. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Ali whispered again, her voice cracking now as tears rolled down her face. 

“That’s okay, that’s why I’m here to help you.” Nina took her hand and wiped away the tears. Then she held onto Ali’s hand. 

“I’m here when you’re ready.” She reassured her. 

Ali swallowed hard then nodded. Nina squeezed her hand in encouragement. 

She closed her eyes, thinking of all the things Nina told her. The place felt cold again and worry began to fill her. “Keep going, Ali. It’s going to get a little uncomfortable but don’t stop. I’m right here.” 

Ali slowed her breathing to try and stay calm. Gradually her breath got deeper and she started to flood her mind with positive thoughts. Hope for the future, the kind of life she had always dreamed of, joy, family, love. 

The cold air began to stir and take on a warmer temperature. As the air swooshed around them, so did light and colour begin to rise. A kaleidoscope shone from Ali’s chest, lighting up the entire room. Ali started to smile and as she opened her eyes to take in her creation, she knew she had made the right decision in trusting Nina. She began to feel whole again. Right. 

Nina stared in wonder and pride. There’s my girl, she thought. She did it.