dating · Inspiration · Life · money · relationships · Uncategorized

From a Living Single: Love Can’t Pay the Bills…

“Love can’t carry me to the supermarket.” – Unknown

And indeed, truer words have never been spoken. Now, I already know many may disagree with me, or even dislike me after reading this blog, but again these are solely my opinions and you can either take it or leave it.

I remember once watching an episode of Tyra, and her topic was “Should you marry for love or money?” And a couple she had on the show stood out to me to this day.

The woman had admittedly gone into the relationship only because she knew the man was financially secure.

The man had gone into the relationship simply because she was smart and beautiful and he wanted a ‘PYT’ on his arm.

They had both agreed that this would be the dynamic of their relationship and hence if he ever went bankrupt she would leave him… interestingly enough he was okay with this.

They were married for some amount of years, had children and seemed to be quite happy with each other.

The wife admitted that she had never been physically attracted to him (she went as far as comparing him to a lawn gnome), but again the husband was totally fine with it.

Both parties were holding up their side of the bargain and it seemed to be working perfectly for them.

#RelationshipGoals or nah?

Before I continue I have one question for my readers: Would you marry for money? 

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  1. According to divorce.usu.edu one of the leading causes of divorce is the issue of money, more specifically “less income”. Though “less income” may not always be the case, if money is already an issue in your relationship it certainly doesn’t help if you’re broke. #JustSayin

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2. Being in love, broke and content is not necessarily a good thing. – If for whatever reason you’re both unemployed, your top priority should be trying to find ways to get out of that situation. If you’re in a relationship where you’re both happy and comfortable being unemployed because “all you need is each other” RUN.

Your spouse should be the person pushing you to be greater than you currently are, not helping you to settle into your mediocrity.

If this is the future you have to look forward to, you’re better off single and broke.

3. Don’t get married on a zero dollar bank account – When you said the words “I do,” the words that precede was a commitment to stand by each other through thick and thin. Though this is true, you shouldn’t be striving to start your marriage on the “thin.”

If by some unfortunate luck of the draw one of you loses your job, the other spouse should be able to pick up the slack without having too much of a struggle. Again, I’m not saying this as a rule, but it certainly does make the process easier and will give you one less thing to argue about.

4. Having said all of that, my forth, final and probably most important point is Money cannot substitute for love or happiness. If your goal is to marry for money ONLY, I advise you to pause and think about your life.

Though I believe you can grow to love someone (seeing as though love is an action first and an emotion after) you cannot force someone to love you. Marrying a man or woman for their bank account does not guarantee you respect, protection, affection or guarantee them to be good partners, parents or lovers – which are all very important in a marriage.

If being financially stable in a relationship is going to cost you your peace and happiness, is it really worth it?