“I can’t wait to plan my already stressful wedding during a high stress time… like a global pandemic!” Said, no one EVER! As girls, many of us dream of that day in our adult life when we will dress in the fanciest, possibly most expensive dress we’ll ever wear, be adorned in makeup and fine jewels and say “I do” to our dream prince. You know, just like the movies!
When my husband and I began dating in 2018, I never would have imagined that when we started planning our wedding it would be during one of the most difficult periods to hit the world. But, if it’s one thing this season of our lives has taught us, it is to leave nothing to chance and live every single day to the fullest with the ones you love. So, despite all the issues we knew would come with planning a wedding, we decided that there was no time like the present, and went ahead with our ‘pandemic wedding.’
Now, if you know me personally, you know anxiety has been a dark shadowy creepy cousin that has been following me around for years. So to be honest, planning a pandemic wedding may not have been the best thing for my mental health. But, having gone through it and being on the other side of glory, I can now guide other brides currently contemplating this huge step in their lives.
- Breathe. First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! This is huge and I’m so happy for you! Take time to enjoy the fact that you are engaged to the love of your life. Revel in it. Stare at your ring for long periods of time. Become suddenly left handed or ambidextrous. Do ALL the things! Even though my husband and I had decided long before that we actually wanted to be married, and even begun planning the wedding before we were “officially” engaged, there was nothing like actually seeing him get down on one knee and popping the question. Don’t downplay it, it’s a huge moment so enjoy it!
- Start planning early. There’s no such thing as being too previous when it comes to planning your wedding, especially during a pandemic! There are many things to consider and the time will go by very quickly. Research helpful blogs, contact your planner, organise excel spreadsheets to keep everything on track.
- Consider going small. Look, we’re in the middle of a life altering pandemic, and being realistic is the only thing that will keep you from going absolutely insane while planning your wedding. Being able to carefully social distance while still following protocols of your country will help to keep everyone safe and give you peace of mind. Technology has been our best friend during this time, consider using it to your advantage for your wedding. Maybe downscale your 300 person guest list to 50 people who you know you and your fiancé absolutely, positively cannot see the day happening without, and send everyone else a virtual link! Pro tip: You will save a LOT on catering!
- Read your contracts carefully. Many vendors have a nonrefundable deposit policy. We are living in uncertain times and the last thing you want is to be stuck with a date that won’t work well, or with crazy fees because of date changes. Inspect your contracts and speak with your vendors about their policies and leniencies, especially for the current times.
- Only spend on the things that matter. The things that will last forever are those that will be captured. The dress, the makeup, the suit, the hair and the photos themselves. These are the things I absolutely do not advise cutting corners with. When all is said and done, all you have of the day are the memories and the photos (and or video) to back those memories up! That 300 person guest list that you’ve cut now gives you space within your budget to do these things well!
- I must follow with – Don’t go broke! As important as your wedding day is it really is only ONE day. You have the rest of your life ahead of you! Taking out loans the size of a mortgage is not only irresponsible, but will cost you greatly in the long run and could possible cause friction between you and your spouse. Having a pandemic wedding means you are allowed to cut corners with otherwise expensive elements. Do you really need 10,000 roses for your decor? Does your cake really need to be 6 tiers? When you consider downsizing the list, also put into perspective all the other things that would cost you greatly that may not be such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
- Trust your team. If you have confidence in the team you’ve hired, trust them to do their jobs and do it well. Listen, as a self proclaimed control freak I know what it’s like to not know every single detail of your big day, especially with wedding jitters in the mix. All that happened was I gave myself heart palpitations, made my anxiety worse and stressed out my fiancé. If you trust your team, leave it in their hands. If you don’t trust them, don’t hire them!
- Eloping is completely acceptable! There, I said it! Skip the stress altogether and simply elope! At the end of it all what really matters is this amazing journey you and your partner are about to embark on. Grab your lover, get a dress you love, pay an amazing photographer to capture those intimate moments and ELOPE! Your family and friends will understand, trust me!
Are you currently planning or planned a pandemic wedding? What was your experience? Let me know!
Love,
A.
Alice Valentine 