The Lion King taught us all that life is a circle – you enter the earth, fulfill purpose and then you die…more or less… (I mean, at that moment when that opening montage was happening we didn’t know Mufasa would have to die in order for Simba to fulfill his purpose but we got the point.) But so many of us spend our lives in a circle of fear, worry and procrastination, then we panic when we realise how much time we’re wasting doing absolutely nothing. And then it becomes a comparison issue of how far “ahead in life” your friends or people in your age group are from you.
The truth is most of us believe we should be further along in life than we are, and as much as I understand it, I really believe the real issue is not that you’re behind in the race, but that you’re just on the wrong track completely.
So many of us are stuck in 9-5 jobs that we hate, leaving what we’re truly passionate about to sit in the back of our minds gathering dust and cobwebs while we frustrate ourselves and everyone around us by constantly complaining about how miserable and unfulfilled we feel.
And for many of us, it becomes a very tough situation to be stuck in because … well, the 9-5 typically pays the bills. But what if I told you that many of us have also been doing this portion of life backward? Your gifts, talents, and passion will make room for you (Proverbs 18:16), but instead, you’ve been trying to fit your gifts into a tiny box called “after work activities” or “side job”.
A very close friend of mine recently got the opportunity to branch out in her musical career. When asked why she didn’t do this sooner her response was “I never once considered this could be a thing for me.” For her, the opportunity pretty much fell into her lap without her even trying. Now, I won’t say that this will be everyone’s story, but the fact is she’s been sitting on a source of wealth this entire time without even knowing it. She was in possession of diamonds but could only see it as dirt. And that’s many people’s story.
What are you passionate about? What’s that thing you would do given the opportunity, work nonstop and still enjoy? What can you see yourself doing for the rest of your life? That word, image or phrase that just flashed across your mind, don’t dismiss it. Write it down, hold onto it, research and Just flippin’ do it!
It’s time to stop being miserable! I don’t care how saturated people have told you the industry is, they don’t have your individual element. Stop finding excuses.
For my young people who are without any major responsibilities (rent, mortgage, kids, etc) now is the time to do crazy things like resign from that job with that manager you can’t stand and follow your passion. You’ll feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. Many times you may even feel as if you’re wasting your life or you made a mistake (Many parents can relate to similar feelings, I’m sure). That’s all a part of the process and that’s okay. It will all eventually fall into place, but only if you put in the work.
As much as the opportunity for my friend “fell in her lap” she could have easily turned her back on it, or not taken it as seriously as she is now and screwed up a complete blessing. Ultimately, the decision of how far you go is up to you. You hold the power. We live in an era now where the internet has made the world so much smaller and hence your reach becomes so much wider with just a click of a button. Use it to your advantage and just flippin’ do it!
Ps. That “friend” is me.
Tag: money
From a Living Single: Love Can’t Pay the Bills…
“Love can’t carry me to the supermarket.” – Unknown
And indeed, truer words have never been spoken. Now, I already know many may disagree with me, or even dislike me after reading this blog, but again these are solely my opinions and you can either take it or leave it.
I remember once watching an episode of Tyra, and her topic was “Should you marry for love or money?” And a couple she had on the show stood out to me to this day.
The woman had admittedly gone into the relationship only because she knew the man was financially secure.
The man had gone into the relationship simply because she was smart and beautiful and he wanted a ‘PYT’ on his arm.
They had both agreed that this would be the dynamic of their relationship and hence if he ever went bankrupt she would leave him… interestingly enough he was okay with this.
They were married for some amount of years, had children and seemed to be quite happy with each other.
The wife admitted that she had never been physically attracted to him (she went as far as comparing him to a lawn gnome), but again the husband was totally fine with it.
Both parties were holding up their side of the bargain and it seemed to be working perfectly for them.
#RelationshipGoals or nah?
Before I continue I have one question for my readers: Would you marry for money?
- According to divorce.usu.edu one of the leading causes of divorce is the issue of money, more specifically “less income”. Though “less income” may not always be the case, if money is already an issue in your relationship it certainly doesn’t help if you’re broke. #JustSayin
2. Being in love, broke and content is not necessarily a good thing. – If for whatever reason you’re both unemployed, your top priority should be trying to find ways to get out of that situation. If you’re in a relationship where you’re both happy and comfortable being unemployed because “all you need is each other” RUN.
Your spouse should be the person pushing you to be greater than you currently are, not helping you to settle into your mediocrity.
If this is the future you have to look forward to, you’re better off single and broke.
3. Don’t get married on a zero dollar bank account – When you said the words “I do,” the words that precede was a commitment to stand by each other through thick and thin. Though this is true, you shouldn’t be striving to start your marriage on the “thin.”
If by some unfortunate luck of the draw one of you loses your job, the other spouse should be able to pick up the slack without having too much of a struggle. Again, I’m not saying this as a rule, but it certainly does make the process easier and will give you one less thing to argue about.
4. Having said all of that, my forth, final and probably most important point is Money cannot substitute for love or happiness. If your goal is to marry for money ONLY, I advise you to pause and think about your life.
Though I believe you can grow to love someone (seeing as though love is an action first and an emotion after) you cannot force someone to love you. Marrying a man or woman for their bank account does not guarantee you respect, protection, affection or guarantee them to be good partners, parents or lovers – which are all very important in a marriage.
If being financially stable in a relationship is going to cost you your peace and happiness, is it really worth it?
21st Century dating “Rules” are garbage
Every time I think this world cannot surprise me anymore I log onto social media and I’m immediately proven wrong. Typically I don’t do rants like this in a blog. I am the type of person to see something on social media, acknowledge the foolery for what it is, maybe send out a tweet or two stating my thoughts on the issue and move on with life. Not this time. But, before I go any further, let me just paste the picture below that has me this upset at 2:17 am, then i can thoroughly break down WHY this picture upset me so.
Read the text in the picture above.
Okay, now read it again slowly.
Usually, I wouldn’t be able to even take this kind of rubbish seriously. I mean really, how could I? But no, I do think it is time we had a real sit-down-come-to-Jesus-Kum-by-Ya about the way sex in our society is seen.
1. 90 days of celibacy = 90 days of $0? This picture clearly implies that the “90 day rule” for sex that some females have (ps. If you are unfamiliar with the 90 day rule this may not make much sense to you. Go do some research then come back to this post.) should also go for cash when dating. This is the dumbest thing I’ve read in a really long time and believe me I’ve been pretty up to date with politics recently.
Now quickly, before I get attacked by all the men spurting inequality quotes and slogans at me, let me ensure we are indeed on the same page here. I am not saying that a man does not have a right to decide how he spends his money and within what time frame. Plastic or paper if it’s yours, it’s yours. BUT, to imply that sex and cash are equivalent just points to one of the biggest problems we have with today’s society.
We have been so conditioned to believe that if a guy spends his money on a girl she HAS to have sex with him. The choice is no longer hers because the guy CHOSE to spend his money to wine and dine her so it means then that she MUST give him the vagina. If she doesn’t give it up she’s seen as a gold digger, a bitch, etc, etc, the usual crap.
I’m sorry, you decided that I was interesting enough and maybe cute enough that you wanted to get to know me. You decided to take me out. I decided you were worth the time. I then decided I did not want to sleep with you, whether it be on date one, date five, or the date we’d have 4 months down the line (which is more than 90 days in case you’re counting) but you decided to keep on pursuing me. How do I then owe you sex for the money you chose to spend on me?
2. Where does this sex-money equivalent even come from? Call me crazy but I thought the days of measuring a woman’s worth solely based on her sexuality were done. This is after all the 21st century with people who are supposed to be smarter than their predecessors. Again, I’ve been rudely awakened. How do you measure sex on the money scale? How is a woman’s performance in bed measured by the Big Mac you just bought her? How do you decide that a dinner at Red Lobster is worth more in sex than a dinner at Olive Garden? Do you equivalent your dollars and cents to the number of orgasms you can get in one night? If this is what dating is like please take me back to when a guy would want to date me because he was interested in me as a person, not because he wanted to get into my pants.
If you take me out and I for whatever reason don’t feel like giving you access to what’s between my legs, it is my choice to make. And if you do follow this sex=money line of thinking you’re not mature enough to handle it anyway. I’m not short of dinners and I’m not above taking myself out for a nice meal. Deuces.
3. The fact that our teens and young adults are still thinking this way means our parents, history classes and sex ed classes are clearly failing us.
If we don’t know by now that what is suggested above is diluted prostitution, we are failing as people. If we don’t see a problem with that question, we are failing as people. If we are still teaching our girls that if a boy is nice to you, you HAVE to have sexual relations with him, not because you want to but because it’s just the law of the dating land, We.Fail.As.People.
Parents: Teach your girls to respect and love themselves enough to know that they do not owe ANYBODY ANYTHING because they are nice to them. Teach them to respect their bodies enough to know that they should ONLY have sex when THEY are ready and not because of some made up rubbish rules by self seeking idiotic people.
Teach your boys that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dining a girl you like. There’s nothing wrong with being nice to her because you think she deserves it and there’s nothing wrong with him, or her, if at the end of 90 days she’s still not ready to have sex with him, even though he’s been taking her out on dates. Teach your sons that just like he CHOSE to dine her it’s her CHOICE whether or not she wants to sleep with him, NOT because of the money he spent, but because she thinks he’s worth it. Teach your children to appreciate themselves enough to appreciate this fact.
Being nice shouldn’t cost a thing. It should be human nature. If you’re dating somebody and it’s painful to spend your time and or money, it’s not worth it. Sex won’t fix that. Stop the foolery. Move on.
Alice Valentine 