As I make this confusing, frustrating journey through my twenties, there are a few things I’d like to share with you, just so that you don’t:
(a) make the same mistakes I do and
(b) learn a thing or two about what a 23 year old in 2016 may experience.
So, buckle up, you’re in for a helluva ride! #FromALivingSingle
I’ve come to the realisation that people like to make life a lot more complicated than it really is. No, like seriously, I’m starting to wonder if we do it out of habit or spite. This time in particular I’m talking about the age old topic of romance.
Now, I know you think you’ve heard it all before and what I have to say may be nothing particularly new, but I want to take the time to remind people of simple things in relationships/dating that may make the entire process 50 times easier. Grab your pens and papers boys and girls, mama’s giving notes!
- Chivalry isn’t dead, but openness is. – I dare you to tell me I’m lying. Go on, I’ll wait…
Today’s relationships lack openness, and so everyone just ends up in these no name, confusing situations where you’re wondering what you are, if you even are a “thing” or if the “thing” is headed anywhere at all.
If you’re perfectly fine with a “thing” being unnamed, unmoving and unclear, go right ahead, luv! #DoYouBoo.
Personally, I think a conversation needs to be had when a relationship/thing is still young, just so that he’s not planning a wedding while you’re just looking for the relief of an itch.
Don’t be afraid to DTR (define the relationship) just because it makes things “real”. Life IS real, so this ends up being pointless.
2. Honesty really is the best policy – If i ask you “Bruh, you single?” Don’t tell me “Yes” when you know you’re holed up in your baby mama’s apartment with your 3 kids and a promise ring on her finger (Because let’s be real… these type of men don’t actually propose.) If you’re currently in a relationship, even if it’s just a “thing” BE CLEAR ABOUT IT. Ain’t nobody got time for #fckboys.
3. #DontWasteMyTime2016 – Does this even need explanation? I’m a firm believer in “everything happens of a reason” and taking every situation in life as a lesson or a stepping stone, and after being in a “thing” for over a year that didn’t work out (Not because of any misunderstandings, “things” tend to just not work out), I’m really not here for the time wasting.
And just because a girl says she doesn’t want to waste her time doesn’t mean she expects you to marry her, have her kids and live happily ever after. It simply means she wants to see if your relationship has the potential to be more than a “thing”.
4. Stop looking for an out before you’re even in – BIG ONE with our generation. We’re so caught up in the “what if it doesn’t work out?” and “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” or “what if I look stupid because I caught ‘feels’?” that we miss the bigger picture. We miss all that something could be, because we’re so caught up in what may happen or who may think we’re insane.
News flash – Love IS insane! It’s selfless and patient and kind and all the things we’re naturally engineered to be, but trained not to be. No wonder it’s so hard. Doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.
5. Take the dive, it’s okay. – If by some miracle you do happen to escape the chains of “what if” and fall in love, don’t be afraid to just dive in and swim. If it works out, you won’t regret it. If it doesn’t, it may hurt for a little but you’d have learned what you needed to, in order to prepare you to fall in love again. Take the chance, I promise you it’s worth it.
Moral of the story: Be straight with people. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Openness is next to happiness.
#QOTD: “What if I fall?” “Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” – Erin Hanson