dating · Life · money · relationships

21st Century dating “Rules” are garbage

Every time I think this world cannot surprise me anymore I log onto social media and I’m immediately proven wrong. Typically I don’t do rants like this in a blog. I am the type of person to see something on social media, acknowledge the foolery for what it is, maybe send out a tweet or two stating my thoughts on the issue and move on with life. Not this time. But, before I go any further, let me just paste the picture below that has me this upset at 2:17 am, then i can thoroughly break down WHY this picture upset me so.


Read the text in the picture above.

Okay, now read it again slowly.
Usually, I wouldn’t be able to even take this kind of rubbish seriously. I mean really, how could I? But no, I do think it is time we had a real sit-down-come-to-Jesus-Kum-by-Ya about the way sex in our society is seen.
1. 90 days of celibacy = 90 days of $0? This picture clearly implies that the “90 day rule” for sex that some females have (ps. If you are unfamiliar with the 90 day rule this may not make much sense to you. Go do some research then come back to this post.) should also go for cash when dating. This is the dumbest thing I’ve read in a really long time and believe me I’ve been pretty up to date with politics recently.
Now quickly, before I get attacked by all the men spurting inequality quotes and slogans at me, let me ensure we are indeed on the same page here. I am not saying that a man does not have a right to decide how he spends his money and within what time frame. Plastic or paper if it’s yours, it’s yours. BUT, to imply that sex and cash are equivalent just points to one of the biggest problems we have with today’s society.
We have been so conditioned to believe that if a guy spends his money on a girl she HAS to have sex with him. The choice is no longer hers because the guy CHOSE to spend his money to wine and dine her so it means then that she MUST give him the vagina. If she doesn’t give it up she’s seen as a gold digger, a bitch, etc, etc, the usual crap.
I’m sorry, you decided that I was interesting enough and maybe cute enough that you wanted to get to know me. You decided to take me out. I decided you were worth the time. I then decided I did not want to sleep with you, whether it be on date one, date five, or the date we’d have 4 months down the line (which is more than 90 days in case you’re counting) but you decided to keep on pursuing me. How do I then owe you sex for the money you chose to spend on me?

2. Where does this sex-money equivalent even come from? Call me crazy but I thought the days of measuring a woman’s worth solely based on her sexuality were done. This is after all the 21st century with people who are supposed to be smarter than their predecessors. Again, I’ve been rudely awakened. How do you measure sex on the money scale? How is a woman’s performance in bed measured by the Big Mac you just bought her? How do you decide that a dinner at Red Lobster is worth more in sex than a dinner at Olive Garden? Do you equivalent your dollars and cents to the number of orgasms you can get in one night? If this is what dating is like please take me back to when a guy would want to date me because he was interested in me as a person, not because he wanted to get into my pants.
If you take me out and I for whatever reason don’t feel like giving you access to what’s between my legs, it is my choice to make. And if you do follow this sex=money line of thinking you’re not mature enough to handle it anyway. I’m not short of dinners and I’m not above taking myself out for a nice meal. Deuces.

3. The fact that our teens and young adults are still thinking this way means our parents, history classes and sex ed classes are clearly failing us.
If we don’t know by now that what is suggested above is diluted prostitution, we are failing as people. If we don’t see a problem with that question, we are failing as people. If we are still teaching our girls that if a boy is nice to you, you HAVE to have sexual relations with him, not because you want to but because it’s just the law of the dating land, We.Fail.As.People.
Parents: Teach your girls to respect and love themselves enough to know that they do not owe ANYBODY ANYTHING because they are nice to them. Teach them to respect their bodies enough to know that they should ONLY have sex when THEY are ready and not because of some made up rubbish rules by self seeking idiotic people.
Teach your boys that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dining a girl you like. There’s nothing wrong with being nice to her because you think she deserves it and there’s nothing wrong with him, or her, if at the end of 90 days she’s still not ready to have sex with him, even though he’s been taking her out on dates. Teach your sons that just like he CHOSE to dine her it’s her CHOICE whether or not she wants to sleep with him, NOT because of the money he spent, but because she thinks he’s worth it. Teach your children to appreciate themselves enough to appreciate this fact.

Being nice shouldn’t cost a thing. It should be human nature. If you’re dating somebody and it’s painful to spend your time and or money, it’s not worth it. Sex won’t fix that. Stop the foolery. Move on.


6 thoughts on “21st Century dating “Rules” are garbage

  1. “The fact that our teens and young adults are still thinking this way means our parents, history classes and sex ed classes are clearly failing us.” BAHAHAHAA! No sh!t.
    Funny because as I read that I think about the HFLE classes (remember that experiment?) I had in high school that were soo ridiculous they were stupid. Our music teacher dd the class, strange but true, and I remember him saying to a boy, “get up and grab your balls” in front of us and had such man say something macho to prove manliness. We were 15. {sigh} Good times.

    I agree with everything you say but those rules were created by white women who were raised differently from us so naturally, that quote would come from a white man who wants to stand on equal footing. #FirstWorldProblems #ICantRelate

    — Bless

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